It is a rare occasion when I completely break down emotionally and vomit my emotions all over everyone unlucky enough to be in range… but when it does happen, I am fortunate enough to have a loving family to set me back on track. *sigh*
Well… I had that moment last night. It was embarrassing and stupid, but I couldn’t seem to do anything about it. I have been beyond stressed these last months and rather than letting off steam during that time, I let it build up until I blew. Actually… it was probably a good thing that it happened when it did, because these types of emotional releases always get my rear in gear so I can get some work done, which probably would have gotten done sooner if I hadn’t been such a procrastinator and let it get me stressed out… I digress.
So this is what I’m doing right now:
In CADRE we implement the Five Core Propositions, as defined by the National Board of Professional Teaching Standards (NBPTS), in our classrooms. We then select three artifacts for each proposition and write a very in-depth analysis and reflection of each artifact and the proposition. These are due in, oh…. a couple of weeks. And I have 2.5 written… yeah, I know right? I’m a total procrastinator.
So, after my meltdown, which I’m sure would make any 2-year-old look like an angel, I wrote a 5 page outline for prop 2 and have the skeleton for my prop 4 outline finished. I even finished most of the research. Yay me!
Now… there was a cause to what set me off… but that shouldn’t be an excuse. I really need to learn how to break through those really tough walls that prevent me from moving on in my work… something like writer’s block, I guess. This is a recurring goal of mine… don’t procrastinate, no matter the reason.
So, what I’m trying to say is that if I really want anything in my life to change, I have to change it. It takes a dedicated and focused person to change an aspect of their personality that has been habit for so long. I’m going to try very hard to make this happen… I am focused! I will get to the end of this program, and I will be a great teacher. I just need to take the action.
Anyway, the end is in sight! … t-minus 23 days and counting until I graduate with my Master’s. Too late to mail those invites? Probably… but, I’ll do it regardless.
Thanks for listening to my rant. I think it’s good to learn from other people’s tough times. 🙂